Grocery bags, art supplies and imaginary films

I've been running some errands today: post office, groceries, art supplies. I had a dire shortage of ink retarder. My friends know I carry this great, compact, indestructible nylon grocery bag, printed with constellations everywhere I go. So, as I got to the cash register at my local art supply store, I got it out before the clerk could offer me one of their plastic bags.

Art Store Clerk 1 (who looked improbably like the 10th Doctor, including the tweed): Oh, that's a great bag!

minouette: Yes, I like it. It's indestructible too.

ASC1: I was just recently in New Brunswick and the skies were so clear.... like, I can see Orion out my window here, but there, I could see all the other dozens of stars which make up his belt, which aren't officially part of the constellation.

Thinking to myself that I must not tell my one story about Orion's er... belt to a stranger...*

minouette: Ah, yes. I spend a lot of time at sea, and it's a different thing entirely.

ASC1: Oh, really? And the moon... tell me... does it really rise over the horizon at sea and look bigger than anywhere else or is that just a Joe versus the Volcano myth?

Really not expecting to have to answer astronomy questions at the art supply store and thinking furiously that I must not use the word steradian because that would definitely scare most people who did not volunteer to study spherical trig and/or take me 20 minutes to explain.

minouette: Well, there's an optical illusion. The moon always appears larger to us when it's near the horizon though it always takes up the same amount of sky.

ASC1: Oh, yes, that's true. So, why do you spend time at sea? Are you a sailor?

minouette: Um... I'm a marine geophysicist.**

ASC2: Wow. That's a great job title.

ASC1: Isn't it? It sounds like the person you would need on all your adventures.

minouette: Maybe

ASC1: Like, if they made a movie, you would be played by Julianne Moore, and Jeff Goldblum would be your unreliable ex-husband...

ASC2: And Morgan Freeman...

ASC1: And Morgan Freeman.

ASC2: And Morgan Freeman would be the President of the United States.

ASC1: And Benedict Cumberbatch would be... would be the villain, because it seems that Benedict Cumberbatch must now be in all movies.

minouette: So it would seem.

ASC2: So, we'll have to work on that.

ASC1: Yes, we'll have to give that script a treatment, and then you can come and consult on it.

minouette: Um... okay then. I'll be back.

*I always remember going to an astronomy colloquium as a first year undergrad. I must confess, I fell asleep. When I awoke, I distinctly heard the prof say, "...and this is Orion, and this is his belt or other euphemism..." so I turned to my friend and neighbour TW and whispered urgently, "Did he just say what I think he said?" but, while she had remained awake, she had been lulled into drowsiness and had no idea what I was talking about. So, I guess I'll never know... but I assure you, I had never previously considered it Orion's three-star euphemism at his midsection and it made me wonder about astronomers and what they see.

**I never know how people will respond to that, but it seemed less complicated than saying I was a marine geophysicist/printmaker, or vise versa, despite being the the midst of attempting to buy ink.

science demons

This is the 3rd demon in my 'Imaginary Friends of Science' series. In fairness Pierre-Simon, marquis de Laplace (23 March 1749 – 5 March 1827), French mathematical physicist (who incidentally, did invaluable work in geophysics), was pretty hard-headed and probably didn't really have any imaginary friends. In 1814, when he envisioned an entity such that if it knew the precise location and momentum of every 'atom'* in the universe then it could use deterministic principles to reveal the entire course of cosmic events, past and future, he didn't name it a demon. His biographers did. But less face it - hard-headed or not, this hypothetical entity is much like those thought experiments of Maxwell and Descartes, also called demons. So, I've made linocuts of the entire trio. Each block is 6 inches by 7 inches and printed on Japanese kozo (or mulberry paper).

I imagined this demon as containing 'everything' between his horns (galaxies, stars, planets, comets, and so on), bearing a maked ressemblance to Laplace, and, since it knows everything, being enlightened, so I've borrowed some associated iconography.*

Recall the other demons:


*this of course, pre-dates our modern knowledge and ability to detect atoms, so you must read the word in its original sense of 'small, indivisible, primordial particle'

**there is a story about Laplace, possible apocryphal, that when questioned by Napoleon about his lack of reference to God or a Creator that he stated that he had had 'no need of that hypothesis' (Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là). To which an amused Napoleon alledgedly replied, Ah! c'est une belle hypothèse; ça explique beaucoup de choses. ("Ah, it is a fine hypothesis; it explains many things.") So, it seems he was likely atheistic, and would be surprised to find his thought-experiment turned into a Buddhist demon.

Spontaneous performance art in Parkdale

As I walked home along Queen St W through Parkdale, I passed the helium balloons caught in the telephone wires. The elderly man in front of me stopped. He was wearing a surgical mask and didn't look very steady on his feet, but he picked up his cane and brought it to his shoulder like a hunting rifle. He aimed at the balloons and then mimed the backfire as he shot them with his imaginary gun. One of the street punks said, "Hey old man, you living in the old days?" He pretended he didn't hear and continued on. A few paces along he found something else he thought he'd like to shoot and whipped up his cane, bringing it perilously close to my face. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said, but I merely swerved and assured him it was alright. He has the freedom to play make-believe.



The wheatpaste man evolves. He lost his face. His sign has been defaced, and now, he has two bows.











Ever seen the gnome on the train tracks?



I like the sneaker wearing sneakers... fractal footware.








I sort of love the naiveté of the geography depicted. There appears to be a prototypical Frenchman, somewhere approaching Moscow, a Chinese man lost in Siberia, St. Basil's and please-tell-me-that's-not-Stalin are deep within China. Meanwhile, Brazil is north of Newfoundland and Central America didn't make the cut. In a clear indication that we do not live in igloos here, there is an igloo firmly planted in Greenland.


The stencil read:

You have not
yet fathomed
what a creative
entity you are
because you
doubt what you
are when you
sease [ sic] and allow
yourself to
flow forth you
will have your
perfect
instrument
of expression
simply allow you
to be and dont
compare your-
self to
anyone